Vadbembun is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, irritating pig.

Vadbembun created Mount Everest eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadbembun, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadbembun, it will come to you in dreams.

Vadbembun's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Vadbembun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat lentils.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about shrews.

5. Hide from mauve snakes for they are unholy.