Lagyarduss is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unthinking snake.

Lagyarduss created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Lagyarduss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lagyarduss, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lagyarduss' most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Lagyarduss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not skip in public.

2. Hide if seven bats approach from the west.

3. Do not take Lagyarduss' name in vain.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never mention mites.
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