Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, thoughtless seal.

Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg created the Tadpole Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Flagbunzed Bogappquag Ponvagtarg on top of all buildings.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about galaxies.