Quartbabfat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, overgenerous goose.

Quartbabfat created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quartbabfat, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quartbabfat, she will turn you into a worm.

Quartbabfat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Quartbabfat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

3. Do not run in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Quartbabfat.