Queegpop is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, unsympathetic grasshopper.

Queegpop created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Queegpop, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Queegpop, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Queegpop's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Queegpop's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Respect your elders.