Capsugbest is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, passionate lizard.

Capsugbest created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Capsugbest, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Capsugbest, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Capsugbest's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Capsugbest's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Capsugbest on top of all buildings.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.