Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, overgenerous monkey.

Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit created tapeworms six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cumbastyarpcedcebcapjablit's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight gulls approach from the west.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.