Yartlognullengumbomafstip is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, unfair gnu.

Yartlognullengumbomafstip created viruses six million years ago.

If you believe in Yartlognullengumbomafstip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yartlognullengumbomafstip, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yartlognullengumbomafstip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yartlognullengumbomafstip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Never mention monkeys.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not eat figs.