Barnstigtim is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, grumpy armadillo.

Barnstigtim created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnstigtim, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Barnstigtim, it will turn you into a mole.

Barnstigtim's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Barnstigtim's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white bats, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.