Ladgoffem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered goose.

Ladgoffem created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladgoffem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ladgoffem, he will remove you from existence.

Ladgoffem's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ladgoffem's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight capybaras approach from the south.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed corn to frogs while wearing brown dresses.

5. Cats are not to be trusted.