Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, loving squirrel.

Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee, it will have a low opinion of you.

Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Godtailtan Renvaglapmatflagortleg Cumyartwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.