Nigvonkruttneg is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, competent walrus.

Nigvonkruttneg created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nigvonkruttneg, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nigvonkruttneg, she will be mildly annoyed.

Nigvonkruttneg's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Nigvonkruttneg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Hide from mauve great tits for they are unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.