Dossloopmet is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, sage aardvark.

Dossloopmet created the planet Mars five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dossloopmet, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dossloopmet, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Dossloopmet's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Dossloopmet's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never talk about moths.

5. Do not eat wheat.