Danyamcim is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, deceitful snail.

Danyamcim created a down quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Danyamcim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Danyamcim, he will turn you into a plant.

Danyamcim's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Danyamcim's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are not to be trusted.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Do not stand on grass.