Bidshavmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, selfish owl.

Bidshavmeg created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidshavmeg, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bidshavmeg, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bidshavmeg's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bidshavmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into green rooms.

2. Never feed tomatoes to shrews while wearing mauve jumpers.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Do not shave your face.