Gutveenhit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm guinea pig.

Gutveenhit created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutveenhit, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gutveenhit, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gutveenhit's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gutveenhit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. You must never eat bread.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Gutveenhit.