Shavlistnig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, ruthless wolf.

Shavlistnig created Asia five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavlistnig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavlistnig, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Shavlistnig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Shavlistnig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of tin.

3. Do not dye your hair purple.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.