Begjensab Figdit is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, self-confident elephant.

Begjensab Figdit created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begjensab Figdit, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Begjensab Figdit, he will turn you into a goat.

Begjensab Figdit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Begjensab Figdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always obey Begjensab Figdit's priests.