Futnulget is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, grumpy bat.

Futnulget created Europe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Futnulget, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Futnulget, it will try to impress you with trees.

Futnulget's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Futnulget's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Futnulget four times a day.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

4. Do not wear gold on your body.

5. Never mention nematodes.