Straglampid is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous manatee.

Straglampid created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Straglampid, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Straglampid, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Straglampid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Straglampid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear gray shirts.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Straglampid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Always help sick turtles.