Begquartgem is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional eagle.

Begquartgem created the Sun four billion years ago.

If you believe in Begquartgem, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Begquartgem, it will not care.

Begquartgem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Begquartgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Always help aardvarks in need.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the north.