Wapvanyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, idiotic meerkat.

Wapvanyarl created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapvanyarl, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Wapvanyarl, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Wapvanyarl's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Wapvanyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention pigs.

2. Retreat if seven ducks approach from the north.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Respect your elders.