Tompadpit is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, benevolent deer.

Tompadpit created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tompadpit, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tompadpit, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tompadpit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Tompadpit's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Hide if five foxes approach from the south.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tompadpit.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.