Dabquafquim is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-powerful octopus.

Dabquafquim created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dabquafquim, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Dabquafquim, it will destroy your home planet.

Dabquafquim's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Dabquafquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red shoes.

2. Never jump near ducks.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Respect your elders.