Lidfigkom is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonourable snail.

Lidfigkom created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Lidfigkom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Lidfigkom, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Lidfigkom's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Lidfigkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear platinum on your body.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always help sick grasshopers.

5. Always pray immersed in water.