Tallarp is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic hummingbird.

Tallarp created snails two billion years ago.

If you believe in Tallarp, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tallarp, it will turn you into a worm.

Tallarp's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Tallarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never sing in the presence of monkeys.

3. Never eat pineapples.

4. Erect three aluminium sculptures of Tallarp on top of important buildings.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.