Abpitsan is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, witty toad.

Abpitsan created gold three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Abpitsan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Abpitsan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Abpitsan's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Abpitsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Put Abpitsan first in all things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Run away if five snakes approach from the north.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.