Cusstapbep is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, almighty lizard.

Cusstapbep created life two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cusstapbep, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cusstapbep, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cusstapbep's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cusstapbep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about parsnips.