Jamfutstan is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, prudent donkey.

Jamfutstan created the Milkyway eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jamfutstan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jamfutstan, he will turn you into a goat.

Jamfutstan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Jamfutstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never sit near mites.