Kapgid Getlimxuck is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, smart duck.

Kapgid Getlimxuck created water five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapgid Getlimxuck, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kapgid Getlimxuck, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kapgid Getlimxuck's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Kapgid Getlimxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never wear trousers.

5. Never hurt seals.