Nibwatgiljam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, annoying yak.

Nibwatgiljam created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nibwatgiljam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nibwatgiljam, she will turn you into a dog.

Nibwatgiljam's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Nibwatgiljam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Erect a large iron sculpture of Nibwatgiljam on top of all buildings.

5. Do not kill nematodes.