Naktofarp is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, annoying hare.

Naktofarp created snails three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Naktofarp, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Naktofarp, he will turn you into a plant.

Naktofarp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Naktofarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tapirs.

2. Fast once a month.

3. You must love Naktofarp.

4. Always treat mites with great respect.

5. Never talk about fire.