Tarstragdibvablib is a god.

She takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring crab.

Tarstragdibvablib created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarstragdibvablib, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarstragdibvablib, she will try to impress you with trees.

Tarstragdibvablib's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tarstragdibvablib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never talk about hamsters.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.