Tadhuntail is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, emotional wombat.

Tadhuntail created a bottom quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tadhuntail, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tadhuntail, she will turn you into a snail.

Tadhuntail's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tadhuntail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate grasshopers.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.