Tom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unjust unicorn.

Tom created the Tadpole Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tom, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Tom, he will be mildly annoyed.

Tom's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Put Tom first in all things.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat bark.