Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humane faun.

Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn, it will turn you into a snail.

Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Lattiggil Tabcanpin Sagjipvonlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Always wear red.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never hurt horses.