Bugvolster is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered narwhal.

Bugvolster created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bugvolster, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bugvolster, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Bugvolster's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Bugvolster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Fast once a month.