Sabnakhun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, humorless troll.

Sabnakhun created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabnakhun, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Sabnakhun, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Sabnakhun's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Sabnakhun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Sabnakhun.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not drink alcohol.