Venbotsisgambutfed is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, dishonest scorpion.

Venbotsisgambutfed created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venbotsisgambutfed, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Venbotsisgambutfed, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Venbotsisgambutfed's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Venbotsisgambutfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about amino acids.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never jump in holy places.