Fetfarbem is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, weak pig.

Fetfarbem created an electron eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetfarbem, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fetfarbem, he will send minions to preach to you.

Fetfarbem's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Fetfarbem's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat oranges.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always obey Fetfarbem's priests.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.