Larnlabsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, unsympathetic walrus.

Larnlabsaw created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnlabsaw, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larnlabsaw, he will have a low opinion of you.

Larnlabsaw's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Larnlabsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not hurt badgers.

3. Never write about amino acids.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.

5. You must love Larnlabsaw.