Loopvedbad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, selfish snake.

Loopvedbad created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Loopvedbad, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Loopvedbad, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Loopvedbad's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Loopvedbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. You must never eat aubergines.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never play with disobedient children.