Lakshavcuss is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, irritating lobster.

Lakshavcuss created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Lakshavcuss, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Lakshavcuss, she will laugh at you.

Lakshavcuss' most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Lakshavcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill nematodes.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

3. You must never eat carrots.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not listen to music.