Wanpakyog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, pitiless armadillo.

Wanpakyog created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wanpakyog, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wanpakyog, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Wanpakyog's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Wanpakyog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. You must never eat coconuts.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Manatees are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never paint your back yellow.