Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless raccoon.

Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin created the Black Eye Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin eight times a day.

2. Retreat if four ducks approach from the south.

3. Do not hurt dolphins.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Tadqueegwit Gamlimxin loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.