Saffondin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, capable armadillo.

Saffondin created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saffondin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Saffondin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Saffondin's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Saffondin's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Never talk about dogs.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.