Bestguthig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, tiresome monkey.

Bestguthig created a Higgs boson eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bestguthig, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bestguthig, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Bestguthig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bestguthig's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bestguthig.

3. Run away from violet ants, for they are unholy.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Hide if nine pigs approach from the north.