Popquaffoss is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-knowing goat.

Popquaffoss created the solar system five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popquaffoss, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Popquaffoss, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Popquaffoss' most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Popquaffoss' Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about asteroids.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Retreat if seven manatees approach from the west.

5. Do not speak about tomatoes.