Zagnarkad is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, quiet bear.

Zagnarkad created an electron seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagnarkad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Zagnarkad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zagnarkad's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Zagnarkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Hide if nine foxes approach from the east.

3. You must pray to Zagnarkad seven times a day.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Erect four zinc sculptures of Zagnarkad on top of important buildings.