Kinlinfedmet is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, selfish raccoon.

Kinlinfedmet created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kinlinfedmet, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kinlinfedmet, it will send minions to preach to you.

Kinlinfedmet's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kinlinfedmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Feed all hungry dogs.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always wear brown.